Change

For the past week or so, I’ve been dealing with a lot of anger.  I have never hurt anyone and my anger hasn’t affected any jobs or school yet, but it has been getting bad to the point of me actually being afraid of myself.

Let me start by saying that for the past few years, my mother and I have had a…difficult relationship.  Thing have started getting worse after I had a fight with her boyfriend due to his racist comments.  He went on about how I was too young to understand, how I will feel that way someday, blah blah blah.  Basically blaming it all on age and nothing to do with who he is as a person.

Anyway, I threw that man out of our wedding…and was forced to reinvite him with the words “well, I guess I just won’t go either.”  Yup.  My mother threatened to not attend her daughter’s wedding unless I reinvited her racist boyfriend, risking my mixed raced nieces and nephews to have to hear his comments.  Needless to say, I felt like I had been stabbed.  I felt like I was being brushed aside for this hateful man who had no respect for minorities or women.  He luckily didn’t show up, but my husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law (and others, I’m sure) were all ready to throw him out if needed.

Just recently, he was diagnosed with cancer.  I don’t like the man, but I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  However, his treatments are not our problem.  But it became our problem when he was forced back into our lives.  Without going into details, I finally blew up.  I told my mother how I felt.  I lost my temper and even though I said the things I wanted to say, I didn’t say them the way I wanted to say it.  I wanted to be more classy then that.

I guess we all have a limit.

Shortly after, the election results came in revealing that the country has elected a man just like my mother’s boyfriend as president.  A man who has no respect for women or minorities.  A man who discriminates based on religion, and pushes Islamophobia.  A man who openly stated he wanted to turn same-sex marriage around and make it illegal once more.

Call me crazy…but I think I just saw the law of attraction at work.  Most people I know and have seen did not want him, but they focused on him and the negativity he would bring.  We all did.  We made jokes, games were made, protests against him…despite not wanting him around, we thought about him and talked about him to the point where now we are stuck with him.

What are we to do when life feels so dark and dismal?  We keep fighting.  If you did not see my last post, please go read it.  Keep fighting and don’t stop.  Fight for the good.  Fight for love.  Fight for basic human rights.  This isn’t just about politics anymore, this is about people being at risk for not being white, male, Christian, straight, or wealthy.

Sign petitions.  Let your voice be heard.  Volunteer your time to those who need it.  Give to charities in need (please not Salvation Army, their proceeds go to anti-LGBT organizations).  Tell someone you meet they look lovely today, it could be someone who very much needs it and perhaps you’ll save a life.

Let’s spread love.  Let’s try to put our anger aside (I understand, easier said than done, the keyword is try…) and show these people that love triumphs hate.  It has many times in the past, it will continue to do so.

Keep fighting, everyone!

Don’t let the bullies win

I feel like all throughout my childhood (and I’m sure others have had the same experience), I was told to “ignore it” when someone was picking on me.  “Ignore the bullies.  They’ll get tired.  They’ll get bored.  They’ll stop.”

I feel like this was a bigger childhood lie than the Easter Bunny.

In my personal experience, the bullies didn’t stop.  They kept going, even more so when you remained quiet.  Today, I feel as though it’s even worse.  Not only are kids bullied in school, but now it occurs at home over the internet.  And not only kids are bullied, but it’s happening in colleges and in the workplace.  It’s happening among family members.  Hell, this years presidential election is built on bullying.  And as we get older, it’s not just comments of “nerd, geek, loser”.  In adulthood, it gets replaced by racial and homophobic slurs and mysogynistic comments.  It gets replaced by discriminatory comments about religions and hateful comments making fun of disabled individuals.  It’s gone from simple teasing to full blown hatred.

“Oh just block them…just ignore it…”

Really?  Is that really your answer to everything?  Back down?  Give up?  No.  The only way to get people to stop is to fight back.

Would the civil rights movement have occurred if minorities just “ignored” the racial slurs?  Would same-sex marriage be legal if couples simply “ignored” the hateful comments?  Would women have the rights they have today if we simply “ignored” the sexist comments?  We have a long way to go in all these categories, but we have also come so far, and it wasn’t from ignoring the hateful comments.  No.  It was from fighting back.

Next time your hear a racist, homophobic, sexist, offensive remark, don’t ignore it.  Stand up and defend the people that these terms hurt.  Tell people that no, these comments are not okay and their bullying will not be tolerated.

You know the quote “Well behaved women seldom make history”?  Well, I feel that it is pretty accurate right now.